Birth Partner's Guide: Supporting During Labour

Being a birth partner is one of the most important support roles you can take on. Whether you're a spouse, partner, family member, or friend, your presence and assistance can significantly impact the birthing experience. This guide will help you prepare to provide confident, effective support during labour and delivery.

Understanding Your Role

As a birth partner, you'll take on several key responsibilities:

• Advocate: Helping communicate the mother's preferences to healthcare providers
• Comfort provider: Offering physical and emotional support techniques
• Practical assistant: Managing logistics so the mother can focus on labour
• Information gatherer: Asking questions and collecting information when needed
• Steady presence: Maintaining a calm, reassuring demeanour throughout

Preparation Before Labour

Thorough preparation will help you feel more confident when the big day arrives:

• Attend antenatal classes together: NHS antenatal classes or NCT courses will prepare you both for labour
• Understand the birth plan: Familiarise yourself with her preferences for pain management, environment, and interventions
• Know the route: Practice the journey to the hospital or birth centre and identify parking options
• Learn about the stages of labour: Understanding what's happening physiologically helps you provide appropriate support
• Pack your own bag: Include snacks, a water bottle, comfortable clothes, toiletries, and a phone charger
• Download useful apps: Contraction timers or hospital information apps can be helpful
• Practice support techniques: Try different massage methods, positions, and breathing patterns together

Supporting During Early Labour

Early labour can last several hours or even days. Your role during this phase includes:

• Timing contractions: Note their frequency, duration, and intensity
• Creating a calm environment: Dim lights, play gentle music, and maintain a comfortable temperature
• Encouraging movement: Suggest walking, gentle swaying, or position changes
• Providing distractions: Watch a film, play cards, or engage in light conversation
• Ensuring rest: Encourage her to conserve energy by resting between contractions
• Maintaining hydration and nutrition: Offer water, isotonic drinks, and light snacks
• Communicating with healthcare providers: Following their guidance about when to come to the hospital or birth centre

Supporting During Active Labour

As labour intensifies, your practical support becomes increasingly important:

• Physical comfort measures:
  • Lower back massage or counter-pressure during contractions
  • Cool flannels for her forehead or neck
  • Offering sips of water or ice chips
  • Supporting her in different positions
  • Helping with a TENS machine if used
• Emotional support:
  • Providing encouraging words and reassurance
  • Breathing with her during contractions
  • Maintaining eye contact when helpful
  • Offering praise for her strength and progress
• Practical assistance:
  • Communicating with healthcare providers
  • Helping to explain or reinforce information
  • Advocating for her preferences when appropriate
  • Taking photos if desired (and permitted)

Supporting Pain Relief Choices

Whether she's planning a natural birth or considering medical pain relief, your supportive role remains crucial:

• For natural approaches:
  • Help her change positions regularly
  • Suggest the shower or birth pool if available
  • Apply firm pressure to her lower back during contractions
  • Remind her of visualisation or hypnobirthing techniques if practiced
• For gas and air (Entonox):
  • Help her establish a rhythm of breathing with the mouthpiece
  • Remind her to start using it about 30 seconds before a contraction peaks
  • Keep the mouthpiece or mask within easy reach
• For epidural or other medical options:
  • Support her decision without judgment
  • Help her stay still during epidural insertion
  • Continue offering emotional support
  • Help her change positions even with reduced mobility

Remember that plans may change during labour. Your supportive role includes respecting her decisions about pain relief, even if they differ from the original birth plan.

The Transition Phase

Transition is typically the most intense part of labour, just before pushing begins. During this challenging phase:

• Remain especially calm: She may become irritable, discouraged, or overwhelmed
• Use simple, direct encouragement: "You're doing brilliantly" or "You're nearly there"
• Avoid complex questions: Now is not the time for decisions requiring detailed thought
• Remind her of progress: "Each contraction brings your baby closer"
• Adapt to her needs: Some women want physical touch during this phase, others prefer not to be touched
• Don't take things personally: Intense reactions are normal during transition

During the Pushing Stage

Your support during pushing can help her direct her energy effectively:

• Help her find effective positions: Squatting, side-lying, or on all fours
• Provide physical support: You may need to help hold her legs or support her body
• Offer encouragement with each push: "That's it!" or "Well done!"
• Remind her to rest between contractions: Complete relaxation helps conserve energy
• Keep her hydrated: Offer small sips of water between pushes
• Be her cheerleader: Positive reinforcement is powerful during this demanding phase
• Watch the birth if you both want: Many partners find witnessing the birth incredibly moving

Supporting During Special Circumstances

Sometimes birth takes unexpected turns. Here's how to provide support during common variations:

If Labour Is Very Long

• Take short breaks to maintain your own energy (with her permission)
• Help her rest between contractions to prevent exhaustion
• Offer encouragement about her endurance and strength
• Remind her that slow progress is still progress

If a Caesarean Section Becomes Necessary

• Reassure her that the goal is a healthy mother and baby
• Stay positive about the birth, avoiding expressions of disappointment
• In theatre, sit near her head and offer calm reassurance
• Be prepared to hold the baby if she's unable to immediately
• Take photos of first moments if permitted and desired

If She Needs Assisted Delivery (Forceps or Ventouse)

• Explain what's happening if she's unclear (liaise with staff)
• Hold her hand and maintain eye contact during the procedure
• Remind her of the progress she's already made
• Be extra encouraging during this final stage

The First Hours After Birth

Your support role continues after baby arrives:

• Skin-to-skin contact: If the mother is unable to hold the baby immediately, you may be offered this opportunity
• Cut the cord: If you wish to, and delayed cord clamping is complete
• Protect the golden hour: Help create a quiet, intimate environment for the first hour
• Support breastfeeding: Help position pillows or the baby if needed
• Be a gatekeeper: Manage phone calls and messages to family
• Practical care: Ensure she has water, food, and is comfortable
• Celebrate the achievement: Acknowledge what an amazing thing she has just done

Taking Care of Yourself

Supporting a birth can be physically and emotionally demanding. Remember:

• Pack snacks and water: Labour support is energy-intensive
• Wear comfortable clothes and shoes: You may be standing for hours
• Use the toilet when midwives are with her: Don't neglect your basic needs
• Take brief breaks: Step out for a few minutes if needed (with her permission)
• Process your own feelings: Birth can be emotional for partners too
• Ask questions if you're concerned: Healthcare providers can reassure you
• Remember it's normal to feel overwhelmed: Labour is intense for everyone involved